Saturday 14 March 2009

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How to make a Magic Milkshake

© John Sawyer – March 2009

Milkshakes are much prized for their refreshing taste and the calcium that builds young bones. The magic properties of this recipe include enhanced reading and writing skills as well as a heightened sense of humour.


Make sure you collect all ingredients before you start preparation (leave the milk in the refrigerator until just before you use it).

Ninth Leg of a Daddy Long Legs X 98

The magic properties of this ingredient have made it extremely popular in other recipes.
This has made nine legged Daddy Long Legs difficult to find in the wild.
Of course, eight legged Daddy Long Legs are easy to find; these have already had their ninth leg removed.
Keep trying or buy this ingredient from a reputable supplier. My sponsor, “Mandrake’s Marvellous Magic Marquee” has a ready supply of ninth legs that have been harvested humanely from Daddy Long Legs bred in captivity. (See box below)

Easter Bunny Fur Collected during spring moult X 23 brown strands

Only the brown strands can be used. Any black or white fur must be removed and kept out of this drink.
I keep these in a matchbox and use them in other recipes (see “How to make Satay Snowballs” on page 327).

Droppings from Santa’s Reindeers collected during deliveries on Christmas Eve X 250 milligrams

While the droppings from Rudolf are much prized, the output from Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen works just as well.
Experienced magicians know to avoid all by-products from Blitzen.

Bee’s Bottoms X 3

All ingredients except milk, marshmallows and powered chocolate are available from:

Malcolm McGregor
Merchandise Manager
Mandrake’s Marvellous Magic Marquee
Marmaduke Mews
Middle Meadows

Castor Oil X 2 tablespoons

White Marshmallows X 2

If you can’t get hold of two white marshmallows, you may use three pink marshmallows instead.

Powdered Drinking Chocolate X 2 spoons

Cold Milk X 1 large glass


You will need the following tools:

  1. Mortar and Pestle
  2. Small frying pan
  3. Drink Shaker
    I use a large peanut butter jar. One that still has traces of peanut butter is very good because this enhances the flavour and texture to the drink.


  1. Remove the toenails from the Daddy Long Legs legs and discard. They are useless for any other purpose.
  2. Take the reindeer droppings and use the mortar and pestle to pound these into a fine powder
  3. Gradually add the Easter Bunny Fur, Bee’s Bums and Daddy Long Legs legs to the mortar and mix vigorously.
  4. Add two drops of water and form the powder into a flat pancake
  5. Heat the Castor Oil in the frying pan
  6. Fry the pancake until it is golden brown on each side
  7. While the pancake is cooking, pour the milk into the drink shaker, add the chocolate powder and shake vigorously.
    REMEMBER to place the lid on the drink shaker. I forgot this one day. There is still a large chocolate coloured stain on the kitchen ceiling.
  8. Pour the milk mix into a glass and add the marshmallows to float on the top.
  9. When the pancake has been cooked, throw it in the garbage bin. It is far too yucky to be eaten by humans.
  10. Sit back in a comfy chair, open your favourite book and enjoy your “Magic Milkshake”.

Coming up in future episodes:

  • How to make food to repel and repulse visitors
  • How to turn a vegetable samosa into a skateboard
  • The “best of” really stinky food recipes
  • How to scare your friends by connecting an iPod to a banana and making it complain when they take a bite
  • How to make smelly slug sauce
  • How to make a hat from a ham sandwich


Anonymous said...

Like the bees bums. The milkshake maker looks a bit like Pinochio

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